Had A Bad Feeling
Monday morning at around 4:30 a.m. I woke up. It's usually because its too hot, too cold, have to go to the bathroom, my son is crying, or maybe even a bad dream. None of those woke me. For whatever reason I was awakened. I woke with a deep feeling of loss and pain. I didn't know why this was happening but it was. My first "instinct" was something was wrong with my mom. If you have been following along with some of my posts--I am completely estranged from my family. There is
so much "drama" going on at their home on a daily basis, I have found it necessary to stay away and not have contact with them. Every now and then I manage a phone call with my mom and may even "bump" into her at church about twice a year. The relationship with my father is severely fractured. I saw him 1995 for my first son's funeral and spoke to him a couple times very briefly in 1997--oh, I did invite him to my son Jordan's christening last year. I actually tried to speak to him but he made it difficult so that's as far as it went.
So I was able to get back to sleep. I eventually woke at 7:00 a.m. and remembered how I felt earlier. I noticed a couple of my fellow bloggers were having some challenges with their own mom's. So after reading their posts yesterday morning, my "feeling" was starting to loom even larger. I had some appointments throughout the day and some travel that had to be made so I showered and dressed and got out the door. On the way to one of my appointments I stopped at a gas station to refuel. As I was waiting I got on my cell phone and called my mom. It was already 11:00 a.m. and I wasn't sure if my mom would answer the home phone since she manages to leave the house as soon as she can to get away from the madness, so I called her cell phone. She answered and as soon as she realized it was me, she began to cry and went on to explain how she couldn't take it anymore and she wants my father to sell the house and leave New York. Throughout her hysterics her tone was one of desperateness and total grief. She also mentioned to me that my father wanted to talk to me (ME???) but was afraid that I would not speak to him. Somehow these guys always managed to put the distance and no communication thing all on me. Yes, the choice was and is all mine but they never seem to get the why part. Now they were getting the why. First, my sister-in-law and her three grown kids live in the house and now my sister, my brother-in-law and their three kids live in the house--Oh yeah, my brother who recently got kicked out his own house of which my father co-signed for is now living with my mom again. This is supposedly a temporary condition. This temporary condition has lasted for almost a year now. His issues would take an encyclopedia of stuff to explain what he is about. My sister-in-law's kids have their own unique set of issues all of which range from unemployment, drugs, violence, and almost every dysfunctional thing you can think of. My sister's kids are actually great kids, 16 and 14 year boys and a 18 month old baby girl of which was not a planned pregnancy. Since my sister nor her husband have been able to manage their money well they are living with my parents again. They lived with them twice before and for the same reasons ended up back with my parents. The 14 year old has a severe case of tourettes syndrome which of course adds to the pressures of their life. There is also my brother-in-law who is back to his old tricks, leaving late at night to go be with whomever (that's a female). I told my sister years ago to kick this bum to the curb. Remember what I said in a previous post, whatever a man is when he is single, he will be more of when he is married. He was every bit the "player" when he married my pregnant sister years ago.
Anyway my mom wants me to help them. She wants me to help chart a plan to get out of the situation they are in. I couldn't stay on the phone too long and if you let her, my mom will keep on the phone for hours. I wanted to get back on the road to my appointment and really didn't feel like having this conversation while I was driving. So I let her know that she can tell my father that I will call her the next day to set up a time possibly for them to come over for dinner or go out to dinner this way we can sit and talk about what they should. Selling their house of almost 30 years might one of their options since it will get everyone out of their house and pretty much out of their lives. There is so much more to this but I will give it to you as I go along.
Again, my "feeling" was right and I must go now to buy a lottery ticket.
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